McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
