1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
