Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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