After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
