Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You smell like stripper and shame
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When are your genitals available?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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