Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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