weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
