On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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