I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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