so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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