when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
