No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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