She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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