I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
this boner is exhausting
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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