how can u be prego again
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
