Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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