if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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