just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
