woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
