I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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