Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
