remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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