just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
