Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
