i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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