I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
