Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
