never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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