I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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