Whod you bang
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
