she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
