Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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