he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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