p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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