Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
