I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
