You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
