They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
