Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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