People in love make me want to vomit
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
