Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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