My underwear smells like fireworks.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
