Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
