...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
