problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
As shirtless as possible
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
