I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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