dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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