Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
