New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
