Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
