You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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