I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
