I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
