grandma shit on top of the toilet
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
