covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
