trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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