i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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