I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
