so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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