THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
