New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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