It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
